This is the first time that I’ve flown with a discount
airline (Scoot, now part of Tiger Air). I wasn’t sure what to expect so I
thought I’d load up my laptop with movies, load up my carry on with snacks and
even splurged and got myself some wireless headphones. What could I possibly
need other than that?
I always think that I’ve got everything sorted a week before
I go. No problems. Then, the day before departure arrives and I remember all
the things that I forgot to do or forgot to get or failed to plan for. Every
time it’s something different, or should I say every time it’s a new
opportunity to learn. (read: stress)
So here I was thinking that I had made all the arrangements
that I could make before D-day (departure day) – Had sent my itinerary to my
son and friends in Malaysia, had selected my seat in the “quiet” section of the
plane, paid for my meal, packed all and sundry items that I could possibly
need, etc, etc. And yet, I was scrambling up until the last minute - shoving
things in my bag and breakfast in my mouth, running to the bathroom to get
things I had forgotten, hair still wet from my shower – general mayhem, what. I
inhaled the last of my breakfast as grabbed my bag and headed out the door,
Felix, frantic to follow me, and me blocking his attempts (it’s the hardest
part of my journey – saying goodbye to my dog.) My friend graciously offered to
bring me to the bus station and once I
was in her car, the journey had officially begun.
I was pleasantly surprised at the new Murrays bus that was
going to take me to Sydney- loaded up with free wifi and usb ports, but I was
desperately tired, having not properly slept in 3 days, so I tried my best to
get some sleep. I wandered in and out of consciousness, never quite getting to
sleep’s sweet spot of REM. Before I knew it, we were at the airport.
I hate queueing. There’s a reason that I do my damnedest to
pack only a carry-on bag. This time however, due to the variety of activities
we have planned, the onset of the wet season and the two bottles of wine that
I’m bringing for my friends, well, the checked baggage was unavoidable. It was
relatively painless, although I noticed my anxiety (queue-rage?) spike when
people who were staring at their phones failed to move forward. Their slowness
was not making me wait any longer to get to the front, but it made me want to
slap their phones out of their hands regardless. I’m not a tolerant person
apparently. God, I hate queueing.
Fast-forward to the flight.
I changed the selection of my seat early this morning when I
couldn’t sleep. I thought I was being clever as my previous selection had
someone on the window seat with me on the aisle. In my new seat there was no
one. Niiiice. I debated moving to the 3 seats in the middle that also had no
one, but thought if I can get the aisle and the window, why not?
Alas, when I arrived at my seat there was a couple seated in
the two seats next to mine. Sigh. I looked over to my previous seat - still only one person by the window. Oh well,
make the best of it, right? I got movies coming out the wazoo on my laptop and
some swish headphones to avoid conversation.
The man next to me starts talking. He and his wife are from
India (am I travelling to India too? He asks). They’ve been visiting their
daughter in Blacktown for the past 6 months. She’s been there since 2012, but
her husband has been there since 2007. Their son still lives in India though,
so it’ll be nice to see him again, although they will definitely come back to
Australia for another visit as they really enjoyed it.
We haven’t even taken off yet.
During a lull in the (one-sided) conversation I pretend to
fall asleep. We taxi the runway and we’re off the ground, I can finally power
up my laptop and get into watching some of those movies. So why is it that I’m
writing this instead of watching Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer? Try as I might
I could not find ANY movies on my laptop. The only thing I can think of is that
when I backed up the movies onto my portable HD (which I didn’t bring with me),
I “moved” instead of “copied”. Fark. Now how am I going to avoid my fellow
man?? Dude next to me keeps looking at my screen to see what I’m doing/writing.
It’s annoying AF.
And he sniffs.
Every two minutes.
I start to twitch.
Thankfully our pre-paid meals arrive. We get served first
coz we’ve already ordered. It’s a pretty paltry offering but then, I only paid
$7 for it so can’t complain and it’s nice to be served first. This meal,
associated to my seat number is the only reason I haven’t moved yet. But, the row behind me has only one person in
it so after the meal, I escape Mr. Nosey Parker, sniffy-sniffy under the
altruistic pretense that I want to give him and his wife more space to spread
out.
My new row-mate, the young lass by the window, is watching
something on her phone. Perfect she’s not looking to make friends. I try to get
some sleep with my new-found space and privacy, but I just can’t. Dude across
the aisle gets a frozen beer and is not happy. “I own my own business and this
is not the way you treat your customers…” I feel sorry for the airline staff.
Then there’s the baby in the section in front of us. Yeah I paid extra to sit
in a “quiet” zone with no babies, but the thing is babies are LOUD when they’re
not happy and nothing can stop that…except maybe a movie being piped directly
into your ears. Sigh.
Quiet, occupied lass next to me has a twitchy leg. It
doesn’t stop. Bounce, bounce, bounce. I can see it out of the corner of my eye.
Bounce, bounce, bounce. I want to reach over and make her stop, but I would probably
get arrested.
I get a waft of beer #4 come to me from the other side of
the aisle. Dude there is still not happy and is now talking to the purser about
how it’s not his problem they had an issue with the fridge (true, but still).
He keeps saying that he’s happy to buy another beer, so I’m not sure what he’s
complaining about.
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
Sniff sniff.
WWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH.
The guy behind me is sucking on hard candy (GOD please let
it be just that) I can hear slurpy wet noises coming from behind. Crinkle, crinkle
the paper. Slurp, lip smack, slurp.
Oh god! This is why movies were invented: For long ass plane
rides. There’s no way to tell how far we’ve gone or how much longer this flight
is going to be. I have lost all notion of time. I fear I may be losing my
mind!!!
Oh wait. There’s the time on my laptop. 5:30 pm. I took off
at around 2.
Fuck.
We’re not even ½ way there.
I just want to sleep…
